Have Fun Storming the Fallopian Tubes!
The Super Bowl always feels like a big weekend for sex educators, the ads and halftime show inevitably bring up issues of gender and sexuality. Last year it was about JLo and Shakira dancing “too sexy.” For me it began with Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction and the hypocrisy of those who were horrified by seeing five seconds of breast but totally fine with the Cialis bathtub ads that were in constant rotation during football at the time. Each year since, there has been a smattering of ads that show us how much further we have until homophobia, transphobia, and plain old sexism are eradicated. Some ads have also spoofed talking with your kids about sex. I remember one (possibly for a car buying service) that put “the talk” as a stop on the elevator down to hell. There was also a Kia ad in which a dad makes up an elaborate fantasy about planet Babylandia rather than just admit he shtupped mom (or used a surrogate with dad, or adopted the child, or went to a fertility clinic, etc., etc.). This year I watched Super Bowl ads with half an eye (the event is way less fun when no one can come over) and found nothing fun to complain about or compliment (yes, I can say something nice sometimes). I thought they were mostly pretty boring. You can always read what I wrote about the Kia ad and others a bunch of years ago. And note, the first story below shows why talking to your kids about sex is important—otherwise they turn to porn.
In the Absence of Parents, There’s Porn (So Talk to Your Kids About Sex)
A new study, published in January’s Archives of Sexual Behavior, confirms that everyone should be watching Bridgerton with their 10-year-olds. Okay, that’s not exactly what it said, but it’s not so far off.
The study asked young people to name the source of information from the past year they considered to be most helpful when it came to “how to have sex.” It found that many young adults (ages 18 to 24) are turning to porn for information and those who don’t talk to their parents about sex are more likely to do so. Adolescents (ages 14 to 17) were, thankfully, less likely to see porn as a source of information but those who never talked to their parents were more likely than peers to turn to the media to find out what sex is all about.
For the study, researchers analyzed data collected from 1,266 young people as part of the National Survey of Sexual Behavior. Respondents were asked to choose one of 11 possible sources that included parents, friends, sexual partners, health care providers/sex educators, magazines, TV shows, and condom boxes. A little more than half of respondents said they had received helpful information in the past year. Researchers analyzed the data from those respondents to see where young people sought information.
Pornography ranked as the most common answer among young adults with 24.5% choosing it as the most helpful source followed by sexual partners (24.1%) and media (21.6%). Parents were low on that list at 6.4% and health care providers/educators were even lower at 5.6%.
Adolescents had very different responses. They were most likely to say their parents were helpful (31%) followed by their friends (21.6%) and health care providers/educators (15.6%). Pornography ranked much lower, with only 8.4% of adolescents identifying it as the most helpful source of information.
Obviously, we don’t want porn to educate our young people. It’s not meant to be educational—much like the porn “plumbers” who show up to “service your pipes” are not actually licensed plumbers, the “teachers” standing in front of a green chalkboard with a pointer are not actually sex educators. They are all selling fantasies, and we know from other research that somewhere between 35% and 45% of free streaming porn videos include violence, mostly against women. One of the problems with this, as Emily Rothman, lead author of this study and a porn literacy educator, told Live Science, is people “… could erroneously assume that certain sexual acts that they see on pornography are going to elicit a pleasurable response for their partner and try it without asking for consent.”
An important part of the solution, according to the current study, is parental input. Adolescents who reported having had a helpful conversation about sex with their parents in the last year were more likely to identify their parents, friends, or healthcare providers as their most helpful source of information and less likely than peers to turn to porn. In contrast, adolescents who said they’d never had a helpful conversation about sex with their parents were substantially more likely than those who had to report media and sexual partners as their primary sources of information about sex.
This pattern holds for young adults as well—29.5% of those who reported that they had never had a helpful conversation with parents about sex said that pornography was their primary source of helpful information compared to 22.6% of those who had had a helpful conversation about sex with parents within the last year and 22.0% of those who had a helpful parental conversation more than a year ago.
J. Dennis Fortenberry, one of the authors of this study and a long-time friend and colleague, told me in an email: “Part of adults’ responsibility is to support the skills and literacy needed to evaluate sources of self-learning as part of each person’s sexual autonomy.”
Basically, if you don’t want your kid turning to porn for information, start talking to them about sex and helping them find good sources of information for future questions. It will serve them now and into adulthood. If you don’t know how to start the conversation, may I suggest turning on Bridgerton.
Sperm Cells Poison Their Competitors
A new study of mice sperm (or is it mouse sperm) found that some elite sperm actually poison their competitors. If you were one of 250 million competing for a chance to fertilize just one egg, you might resort to dirty tricks too.
To understand this (and I think I do), first you have to know that some sperm are, well, better than others. Some sperm contain an extra gene fragment that gives them an advantage. Scientists call them t-sperm because they have the t-haplotype. And, this study found that t-sperm make more forward progress toward the egg than normal sperm.
They also found that t-sperm can disable normal sperm. Bernhard Herrman, the director of the Berlin lab that ran the study, explained: “The trick is that the t‑haplotype “poisons” all sperm, but at the same time produces an antidote, which acts only in t-sperm and protects them.”
Think back to high school biology lessons about mitosis and meiosis. During development, each sperm cell gets half of the genetic material from its precursor cell. Some lucky sperm (t-sperm) get the t-haplotype, the t-haplotype’s poison, and the t-haplotype’s poison’s antidote and others (normal sperm) get nothing. So later, when they’re racing to the egg, t-sperm have a distinct competitive advantage both by moving faster and fighting dirty. Herrman likens it to a marathon “…in which all participants get poisoned drinking water, but some runners also take an antidote.”
I think it’s more like the iocane powder scene from The Princess Bride, the sperm put the poison in both cups knowing they’re immune.
Have fun storming the fallopian tubes!
Wednesday Revisited: BrdsNBz Text Line Controversy Continues
In November, I told you about a controversy over a text information line run by the American Association for Sexual Health (ASHA). Young people could send their questions about sex by text and get confidential, medically accurate information from certified health educators. The project ran quietly for a year with support from the Virginia Department of Health (VHD), but last fall, when the Department had the audacity to advertise the service via postcards sent to households with young people, lawmakers reacted harshly.
Calling it a violation of parental rights and a “dream job for sexual predators,” legislators attempted to pass amendments to the state’s budget prohibiting money from being spent on this project. Those amendments failed but critics of the program ultimately won. The VHD has cancelled the program in the state, concluding it was not cost-effective (read: not worth the constant fight with the legislature).
And there is more fallout from the postcard campaign. This week, the Senate passed a bill (by one vote) prohibiting the health department or anyone contracted by the health department from initiating “discussions with minors on health-related matters without the consent of the parent.” We’re in the middle of the public health crisis of the century; it seems like a great time to limit health officials’ ability to communicate with residents of any age. The fear of sex information is way more dangerous than the answers to any questions that teens might have texted in.
The bill now goes to the House of Delegates for its consideration. The text line, BrdsNBz, is still available to young people in Florida.
Join Me on Zoom Tomorrow Night
And finally, I’m excited to announce that tomorrow night, February 11, I am going to be part of a Zoom panel of health experts following a performance by the Elevate Theater Company. Elevate combines theater and health education and is focusing the fourth part of its winter series on the isolation caused by the pandemic. They will be performing an original play, Being You, by the company’s founder Christina Eskridge and Courtney Bottomley. The play focuses on Renee, who was dumped during the pandemic and has a lot of questions and uncertainty about what to do next. Afterwards, I’ll talk about safe sex Covid-style. Tickets are available here.