Honey, There's Viagra in Your Honey

Now That's a Real Lemon Zinger

One of the saddest stories we’ve heard in the weeks since we lost our constitutional right to abortion has been that of the 10-year-old girl who had to travel from her home state of Ohio to Indiana in order to get an abortion. Ohio’s law prohibits all abortions after a “heartbeat” can be detected and makes no exemption for rape or incest. The story was originally reported by the Indy Star who spoke to Dr. Caitlin Bernard, the Indiana doctor who ultimately performed the procedure. The story spread widely and was used by President Joe Biden as a cautionary tale when he signed his Executive Order protecting reproductive rights.

This is the kind of story that has always been hard for the typical pro-life voter who somewhere (either deep down or right on the surface) is fine with forcing a woman to stay pregnant because “if she didn’t want a baby, she could have kept her legs shut.” You can’t slut shame a 10-year-old girl. A 10-year-old girl is in elementary school. She still looks forward to recess, collects stickers, plans her birthday party a year in advance, and lines up her stuffed animals in her room to play school. A 10-year-old girl is never responsible for having gotten pregnant. If she is pregnant, she is a victim and would/should receive sympathy not scorn, even from the most ardent pro-lifers. Moreover, it is too painful to imagine the consequences of forcing a 10-year-old girl to stay pregnant for most of a year and give birth.   

So, what did GOP politicians and pundits do when this story of the most innocent victim of their new laws surfaced?

They denied it and suggested that Democrats had made it up to score cheap political points.

The Wall Street Journal ran an editorial called “An Abortion Story too Good to Confirm,” which criticized Biden for relying on an “… unlikely story from a biased source that neatly fits the progressive narrative on abortion but can’t be confirmed.” Fox’s Tucker Carlson added on air: “Why did the Biden administration, speaking of lying, just repeat a story about a 10-year-old child who got pregnant, and they got an abortion or was not allowed to get an abortion when it turns out the story is not true.”

Ohio Attorney General Dave Yost casts further doubt when he said in a Fox News interview that his office hadn’t heard “a whisper” about this case. He added: “Every day that goes by, the more likely that this is a fabrication.” Other politicians from Ohio and beyond jumped on this idea. Ohio Representative Brian Stewart tweeted he "wouldn't trust an abortionist to tell me whether the sky is blue," and Representative Jim Jordan tweeted “Another lie. Anyone surprised?" South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, who stumbled in a CNN interview when asked about the pregnant 10-year-old, let herself off the hook by calling this “literal #FakeNews from the liberal media."

Indiana Attorney General Todd Rokita jumped into the fray, also on Fox News, when he suggested that Dr. Bernard had not filed the appropriate paperwork about the procedure or the rape. It’s unclear whether his goal was to discredit her or imply that the patient didn’t exist or both. He also threatened to investigate Dr. Bernard and suggested that her licensure might be in jeopardy.

Of course, none of this was true. The 10-year-old patient exists. Law enforcement in Ohio already knew about the case. Dr. Bernard performed the procedure and filed all the right paperwork which the media has been able to verify. (She is now considering suing Rokita.) And a 27-year-old man has confessed to raping the child on at least two occasions.

So, what did GOP politicians and pundits do when this story of the most innocent victim of their new laws was confirmed?

They apologized profusely to the child, her family, and the doctor, and agreed to have a meaningful conversation about what these new abortion laws mean for survivors of rape and incest. 

Just kidding.

They went from denial to deflection. Instead of talking about the young girl or abortion, they glommed onto the undocumented status of the rapist and started rambling about immigration. 

There are real consequences to banning abortion but the party that has spent 50 years working on the ban does not want to talk about them because forcing a 10-year-old victim of rape to spend 5th grade pregnant and then go through childbirth does not sit well even with the white suburban voters they’ve been brainwashing for decades.

Covid-19 Vaccines Do Mess with Your Period, But It’s Nothing to Worry About

In early May, I got a booster dose of Moderna’s Covid-19 vaccine. A few days later, I got my period. It was very early—I know because I was still in the first week of a new pill pack—and it lasted basically for the rest of the month. A new observational study from Indiana University suggests that I am far from alone in suffering period anomalies.

This is the largest study to date and includes more than 39,000 responses to an online survey about menstruation that was first posted in April 2021. Respondents were from around the globe, were between the age of 18 and 80, had been fully vaccinated with an approved vaccine, and had not had Covid-19 before getting vaccinated. 

While more people with regular menstrual cycles (44%) reported no change, many (42%) reported that their bleeding was heavier than normal. In addition, 71% of people on long-acting reversible contraceptives, 39% of people on gender-affirming hormones, and 66% of post-menopausal respondents—individuals who don’t menstruate regularly—reported breakthrough bleeding.  

Heavier bleeding or erratic cycles were more likely in people who were older, those who identified as Latino, and those who experienced other side effects with the vaccines like fever or fatigue. It was also more common in respondents who used hormonal contraception, had ever been pregnant, or had been diagnosed with a certain reproductive health conditions like endometriosis, fibroids, or polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).

It's important to note that this study did not have a control group and relied on self-reporting from menstruators. It’s possible that people who experienced menstrual anomalies after the vaccine were more likely to respond to the survey. Still, other studies have found similar results and the researchers who set up the survey believe it’s important to normalize these changes. The study’s lead author, Katherine Lee, told the New York Times: “I think it’s important that people know this can happen, so they’re not scared, they’re not shocked and they’re not caught without supplies.” Lee and her co-authors also believe attention to these experience “… is necessary to build trust in medicine.”    

Of course, this study does nothing to explain why the vaccine might mess with one’s cycle though we do know that numerous factors from weight gain/loss, to stress, exercise, and diet can affect menstruation. There is also a link between menstruation and a person’s immune system which might explain how a vaccine meant to trigger an immune response could also trigger menstrual bleeding.

It looks like Covid-19 booster shots are going to be part of our standard health care routines for years to come. Experts agree that these menstrual changes are not dangerous and are unlikely to last past one or two cycles. They also agree that a little extra blood is never a reason to skip a booster or even wait to get the shot.  

Honey, There’s Viagra in Your Honey

Last week, the FDA sent warning letters to four companies selling honey that the agency found to be illegally laced with tadalafil and sildenafil, the active ingredients in Cialis and Viagra respectively. The agency reminded the companies that these are drugs approved to treat erectile disfunction and are restricted to prescription use only. It added that these undeclared ingredients could be dangerous to some consumers, especially those taking nitrates for heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or diabetes.

In fairness, we’re not talking about the honey bears one finds on the supermarket shelf. Sure, these products were found on mainstream websites like eBay and Walmart, but with names like Etumax Royal Honey for Him, Secret Miracle Royal Honey for Her, and X RATED HONEY FOR MEN, it’s unlikely that purchasers were merely oblivious tea enthusiasts.

On the flip side, even those who knew they were in sexual supplement territory had no way of knowing they were actually taking a sugary version of the little blue pill.

Unauthorized Viagra-laced sexual enhancement products have been a thorn in the FDA’s side for more than a decade. The agency’s website lists 389 products that have been found to contain tadalafil and sildenafil. A number of honeys have already made the list, as have supplements like Jaguar Power, Pink Pussycat, Kangaroo Intense Alpha 3000, Ying Yang Essence Man Power, Zing Plus, and Stiff Rox. (I always wanted to be the person who named nail polish colors, but I think naming bogus sexual health products might be even more fun.) The FDA points out that this is just the tip of the iceberg as it cannot possibly test every product on the market.

Laced supplements in pill, powder, or honey form seem to fall under the general rubric of buyer beware (or, maybe, buyer don’t be an idiot). We should all be wary of any product that promises to make us or our partners harder, bigger, wetter, or hornier. I would also urge anyone to take a second before they add 2 Own the Knight 4000 to their Amazon cart and ask themselves, “does this sound like a legitimate product?