Week Without Wanking, Not Without Wankers
Bachelorette Contestants Won't be Jerking Off, but Governor Ducey is Still a Jerk
I’m back and as promised I have an update on the Arizona sex ed bill. Anyone who bet on Governor Doug Ducey to do the right thing twice will have to pay up. This time around he signed the bill which bans all sex ed in Kindergarten through fourth grade and may prevent teachers of other subjects from discussing key events in history or important works of literature if they have sexual themes. The other bills he signed this week were a mixed bag. One would allow courts to terminate the parental rights of a biological father if the child is a product of rape (which at least means that he, unlike some Republicans, acknowledges that women can actually get pregnant from rape). Another allows pharmacists to dispense birth control to people who don’t have a prescription (access is good). Of course, he also leapt into the critical race theory debate which is all they’re talking about on Fox News these days. The state of Arizona and all local governments in it are now prohibited from requiring employees “to engage in orientation, training, or therapy, which suggest an employee is inherently racist, sexist, or oppressive, whether consciously or unconsciously.” God forbid we make a white person uncomfortable for 90 minutes. (For more on this made up debate, FiveThirtyEight has an interesting piece this week comparing the attacks on critical race theory to those on sex education and other “controversial” topics like evolution. Check it out, and if you want more history of how the Far Right used sex education as wedge issue, see this article that I recently wrote for SIECUS.)
Sorry Parents, Doctors Aren’t Talking to Your Kids About Sex
A new study, published in Pediatrics, found that both parents and kids would like pediatricians to speak with their young patients about sexual health topics, but few young patients have ever had these conversations with their doctors.
The study is based on a 2019 online survey of over 1,000 parent-child pairs. To participate in the survey, children had to have had one preventative care visit with a health care provider in the previous two years. Participants were asked how important it was for providers to discuss certain sexual health topics from puberty to safe dating to contraception with teens in two age groups (11 to 14 and 15 to 17). They were then asked which, if any, of these topics they or their child had discussed at the last preventative care appointment.
Both parents and kids wanted doctors to take on most topics. Puberty seemed to top everybody’s list (even older teens who have likely gone through it already) but STIs, birth control, and where to get sexual and reproductive health (SRH) services were not far behind. Sadly, both parents and teens were less eager for health care providers to discuss sexual orientation and gender identity which are important topics that should be discussed at a young age.
Despite this multi-generational consensus on what should be discussed, the survey suggests that few doctors are touching on any of these topics other than puberty (and I’m willing to bet they spend more time on body odor than wet dreams).
The survey also found that few teens are even given an opportunity to discuss potentially private topics with their pediatrician without a parent present—only 20% of young teens and 42.3% of older teens had time alone with their doctor. More disturbing, doctors are not asking their young patients if they are sexually active. Only 38.7% of teens 15 to 17 reported being asked this by their provider at the last visit. While sexual activity among teens has been declining in recent years, more than half of teens do have sex before they are 18 and this has implications for their health care needs.
John Santelli, a researcher at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and a co-author on this study, attributed the disconnect between what parents want and what pediatricians do to a number of factors including limited time and discomfort with these topics. He told MSN: “I think there’s a general reluctance in this society to talk about sex, contraception and even safe dating, interpersonal violence and rape. We don’t talk to young people about their feelings and relationships.” He added that he was surprised by the findings.
I can’t say that I’m surprised. My experiences with pediatricians discussing sex have been awkward at best. I remember when I had mono in high school and had to tell Dr. Stewart, who had been seeing me since birth, that I was on the pill. He turned beet red and practically swallowed his tongue as he told me to stop taking it while I was recovering. And, during my oldest daughter’s 2-year-old well visit, her pediatrician opened her diaper and said “I’m just going to check down there.” So, I piped in and said, “Yes, Dr. L. is going to check your vulva.” To which Dr. L. responded, “Did your mommy just say you drive a Volvo?” Nope. Her mommy used proper language for body parts and, as a medical professional, you should too.
Clearly, we need to add some old-fashioned sex education to the medical school curriculum and help new doctors become more comfortable discussing these important issues with patients of all ages. In the meantime, parents can tell their child’s doctor that they would like them to discuss some of these issue and can signal that private doctor-patient time is important by offering to leave the room.
Bachelorette Proposes Wank-Free Week
ABC’s Bachelorette, now in its 17th season, got tons of free press this week and even more social media traffic for challenging the remaining men to a WOWO – Week Off Wanking Off. The current Bachelorette, Katie Thurston, told the co-hosts (two former Bachelorettes who replaced long-time host Chris Harrison while he’s still on the no fly list for stupid comments he made about race on last season’s The Bachelor) that she had this funny little idea:
Thurston: I kind of had this idea I thought would be fun, where the guys in the house all have to agree to withhold their self-care as long as possible, if you know what I mean.”
Bristowe: So, like, not do their skin care routine?
Adams: Like no shaving?
Thurston: Uh, we’re going a little deeper than that. A little friendly handshake with themselves [is] off-limits.”
[Lots of giggles]
Thurston: “I cannot wait to see the boys and give them a little look, make it a little hard for them — make it VERY HARD for them.”
That’s a lot of euphemisms and one double entendre that’s about as subtle as a brick. But what’s not mentioned is why?
We know that Thurston is a masturbation proponent. When she was a contestant on The Bachelor, she famously got out of the limo on day one holding her vibrator. She said the other women in the house just called her dildo girl for a few weeks. The network kept that reputation alive in print promos for this season of The Bachelorette which had a picture of her and the tagline “see what all the buzz is about.” So, clearly, she’s not in the “masturbation is a sin” category of people.
It could be a Seinfeld-inspired challenge of who can be master of their domain. When Jerry and his pals did it 30 years ago, masturbation was never talked about on TV and the idea that Elaine was among the first to lose the bet (after being behind JFK, Jr. in an exercise class) was groundbreaking. Wait, women masturbate? I suppose acknowledging masturbation on a Disney-owned property favored by middle America isn’t a bad thing, but the same people watched her show up with her vibrator so is it really pushing the envelope at all?
The other obvious explanation is that she wants the men to be extra horny for their dates with her. While there’s nothing wrong with this per se, it seems a little unfair. How many of them actually have a shot of hooking up with her on this Disney-owned property favored by middle America?
The most likely reason, of course, is ratings. I highly doubt that Katie cooked this one up herself or that the co-hosts really thought she was talking about shaving. Reality shows might not be completely scripted (though I remain skeptical) but there are always producers pulling the strings and this season the people behind the Bachelor franchise really want us talking about anything other than race.
A position they share with Governor Ducey. Of course, he doesn’t want us talking about masturbation either.